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Why work on building confidence?

Some people doubt themselves. Maybe they've suffered setbacks that made them feel unworthy. Perhaps they've been told they won't amount to much. The truth is that feelings of self-doubt hold us back in life. They can keep us living small.

Confidence is not about being perfect. It's about embracing imperfections. It's about believing in your ability to overcome the obstacles in your path. We have faith in you - you should, too!

Building confidence takes time

Here are the first steps to becoming more confident:

  • Know yourself.
  • Set realistic goals.
  • Embrace challenges.
  • Talk to yourself in a positive way.
  • Keep learning.
  • Stay healthy and active in a way that works for you.
  • Seek support when you need it.

Doubt is normal

It's natural to have moments of self-doubt. With practice, you can steadily improve your skills and become more confident.

Building confidence happens in stages. You don't have to make massive changes. Small and simple steps are a great way to develop new habits that last.

How to get started

Here is a list of steps and strategies that help build confidence. 

Look after yourself

  • When you look after yourself, you show yourself that you matter.
  • Set aside time to do things that make you feel good.
  • Find ideas to look after yourself in the Neve section Calm space (internal link).

Get to know yourself better

  • Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
  • See where you lack confidence and explore solutions. When you solve problems and learn skills, you feel more confident.
  • Learn more about your feelings on the Neve page Get to know your emotions (internal link).

Set realistic goals

  • Break large goals into small steps that you feel you can achieve.
  • When you achieve something small, you get a confidence boost that helps you achieve bigger things.

Talk kindly to yourself

  • Use affirmations. Affirmations are kind, positive things that you say about yourself. They can change the way you think and make you feel better. Find ideas on the Neve page Affirmations (internal link). Or, try writing your own.
  • Instead of saying, "I'm hopeless," encourage yourself with, "I can do it."
  • When you doubt yourself, challenge the feeling. Remind yourself of times that you've succeeded or done well.

Picture doing well

  • Imagine yourself being confident. Imagine yourself having success and achieving your goals.
  • Thinking about success can help you get ready for it.

Speak up for yourself

  • Say what you think, need and want. Speaking up for yourself is sometimes called being assertive. Learn how on the Neve page Speaking up for yourself (internal link).
  • Start small. Speak up for yourself with people will probably respond well. Then, progress to more challenging situations. 

Talk and listen

  • Listen with care. It helps you understand others and sets you up for success.
  • Talk as confidently as you can without being aggressive.
  • If it's hard to talk with confidence, write with confidence instead. Remind yourself you have skills to be proud of. 

Bounce back

  • Setbacks are a natural part of the journey.
  • Treat failures as opportunities to grow and try again.

Seek support when you need it

  • Talk to trusted friends, family members, or therapists about your struggles.
  • They can offer guidance and emotional support.

Keep learning

  • Self-help books, courses and workshops can help you learn and grow.
  • New knowledge and skills can boost your confidence.

Find mentors and role models

  • Learn from others who are confident and assertive.
  • Look for a mentor to guide and encourage you.

Celebrate achievements

  • Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small.
  • Treat yourself. You could throw a party. You could tell a friend what you've accomplished. You could post on social media.

Be patient

  • Know that building confidence is a gradual process.
  • Stay committed to the journey. Don't be discouraged by setbacks.

Step out of your comfort zone

  • Challenge yourself to embrace new experiences and confront your fears.
  • Each successful step outside your comfort zone can build confidence.

1800 RESPECT

If you experience violence or abuse you can contact 1800 RESPECT for support and counselling.
Call 1800 737 732 or go to the 1800 RESPECT website to chat with someone online (external link).

‍To contact 1800RESPECT via SMS, text ‘HELLO’ or any greeting to 0458 737 732 to start the conversation.

Story

Amara admires people who go to university. She's interested in studying psychology. However, whenever she thinks about applying to university, she feels stupid. Amara tells herself things like, "You'd just embarrass yourself." Or "It'll be like high school all over again." Amara would never speak to a friend the way she talks to herself. She decides to work on her confidence. After all, she'll never know whether she could succeed at university unless she finds the confidence to apply.

How to find practical help

This section of the website lets you know where to go and what to do when you need help. People who've been hurt by violence will find advice here, but others will find it helpful, too. There is information about legal support, health services, money, sex and relationships and violence and abuse. If you are in a difficult situation and don't know what to do, the strategies here can make a difference.

Find out more

Counselling and therapy

If you have difficulties you can't overcome alone, you could see a counsellor, therapist or psychologist. You can talk about relationships, sexuality, sadness and tricky problems. You can discuss anxiety, depression, anger, violence, self-image and disability. They will listen and offer treatment. Here, you can learn about the different options.

Find out more

Resources.

May 4, 2024

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Headspace

Body scan meditation to reduce stress

Here’s everything you need to know about body scan meditation — including how to do it.

Check resource

May 4, 2024

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Participate Australia

Making Money Easy

A tool to support children, teens and adults with mild to moderate intellectual disability to learn basic counting and money handling skills.

Check resource

May 4, 2024

|

Disability Australia Hub

Self-advocacy

Self-advocacy is when someone with disability speaks up and represents themselves. This guide shows you how.

Check resource

May 7, 2024

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Touching Base

Booklets For People With Disability

Resources and information for people with disability about seeing a sex worker.

Check resource

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Becoming more confident

Confidence is a feeling of faith in your abilities. When you are confident, you know you can rely on yourself. Being confident can strengthen personal relationships. It makes it easier to achieve your goals. Here, we share strategies to help build your confidence.

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