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Emotional intelligence means being smart about feelings. People with a lot of emotional intelligence recognise what they feel and know how to manage their feelings. They recognise how other people feel, too. Here, you can learn how to get to know yourself better and build good relationships with other people.
Emotional intelligence helps us recognise our feelings. We can cope with conflict and stress. We can achieve our goals.
Emotional intelligence also helps us build good relationships with other people. We can understand why others behave the way they do.
To be smart about feelings, you need five skills:
Emotional intelligence is a skill you can practise. Think of your emotional intelligence as a muscle. If you're willing to put in some effort, you can make it stronger!
It's a good idea to learn more about feelings if:
Feelings can seem scary and hard to manage. You might think, "Why would I want to know more about that?"
It can also be upsetting to hear that you have control over your feelings, especially if you have faced a lot of unfairness. You might think, "Anyone who had my life would feel the way I do."
But becoming smarter about feelings has many advantages. It:
You don't have to figure out your feelings by yourself. You can get support from a friend, helpline or counsellor.
Many of us learn to fear our emotions. We might believe it is wrong or shameful to feel "bad" emotions like:
As a result, we may have become detached from our feelings, which means we don't recognise what we feel, while we're feeling it. Maybe we ignore our feelings until they are too big to control.
A healthy way to think about emotions is to recognise that they give us clues about our needs and wants. For example, we often feel angry when a situation is unfair. It doesn't mean we must express our anger by screaming and shouting. But, we might feel good if we worked to fix the unfairness that made us angry.
Pay attention to how you feel - it is the first step in managing your feelings. Think about these clues from these parts of your body:
To get in touch with your emotions, you can:
Stevie has a physical disability that makes many activities difficult. Sometimes, it's hard for Stevie to listen to other people's stories about doing things like dancing, hiking and swimming. In the past, Stevie became very upset and said that people were trying to make them jealous. Now, Stevie recognises that these stories hurt. They try to cope with their feelings. For example, they could politely change the subject. If they are talking to a good friend, Stevie could explain how the stories make them feel. Stevie could also talk to their NDIS coordinator about taking swimming lessons. Stevie's feelings are not bad or wrong. Feelings give Stevie clues about what they want to do.
This section is a space for you to use when you need it. It has supportive self-care resources. You can also use it with your friends and family.
Find out moreIf you have difficulties you can't overcome alone, you could see a counsellor, therapist or psychologist. You can talk about relationships, sexuality, sadness and tricky problems. You can discuss anxiety, depression, anger, violence, self-image and disability. They will listen and offer treatment. Here, you can learn about the different options.
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