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How does mediation work?

In mediation, a neutral person called the mediator helps people in conflict make an agreement.

The mediator:

  • Explains the rules
  • Asks questions
  • Listens to both sides
  • Identifies the important issues
  • Helps find a solution everyone can accept.

A mediator does not make decisions. Instead, they help the people in conflict make a decision together.

Mediation can happen in different ways. Options include:

  • Both people sit at a table with the mediator and any support people.
  • The mediator moves between different rooms, talking to the people separately.
  • The process happens online. 

Mediation usually works. Around 85% of the time, mediation finds a solution, according to the Australian Mediation Association here (external link). Occasionally, mediation doesn't work. The parties cannot agree. In this case, the issue might go to court.

You have the right to the support that will allow you to get the most out of mediation. Ask for what you need to participate fully and make your views known.

How to prepare for mediation

Mediation requires compromise. Compromise means that you get some of the things you want, but not all of the things you want. The outcome isn't perfect but it's good enough.

Think beforehand about how you can be flexible. It's also helpful to know what you will not compromise on.

 

To get ready for mediation, you should:

  • Read all the emails or other documents you've been sent.
  • Find a support person if you need one, like a family member, carer or support worker.
  • Spend time deciding what you need and want. You should write or record your thoughts.
  • Summarise your ideas to share. You could write a list, like this one.
  • Think about what you need to make mediation work, like any assistive devices or a private room.
  • Find agreements you've made with the other person in the past.
  • Write a list of things that you disagree about.
  • Identify what you need, what you want, and what you can compromise on.
  • Talk to a lawyer if that would be helpful.
  • Understand the benefits of a successful mediation. For example, going to court costs money and is stressful. If mediation works, you won't have to go to court.
  • Understand the costs and risks of not reaching an agreement. For example, you will have to keep talking about the disagreement until you find a solution.

You can read more about how to prepare for mediation and what to expect via Mediations Australia here (external link).

When is mediation helpful?

Mediation is useful:

  • For complicated problems
  • When people have strong feelings.

It can help couples who are separating. It can be a way to make decisions about childcare and assets, like who gets a house or car.

Mediation can help at work. For example:

  • If a worker thinks their manager treats them unfairly because of their disability.
  • After an issue or complaint.

Sometimes, mediation is required before using a legal process. For example, the Family Court of Australia requires people to try mediation before going to court. This type of mediation is called Family Dispute Resolution. You can read more about it here (external link).

Mediation is not required if there has been family violence. However, it is available if both people want.

Where to get help

Mediation services for separating couples are available at  government-funded services, like:

  • Family Relationship Centres
  • Relationships Australia
  • Legal Aid Commissions
  • Other community-based legal services.

Search for the organisation's name and your city or state to find the contact details online.

The Australian Mediation Association (external link) can help you find a mediator for other kinds of mediation, like when there is a probem at work.  

 

1800 RESPECT

If you experience violence or abuse you can contact 1800 RESPECT for support and counselling.
Call 1800 737 732 or go to the 1800 RESPECT website to chat with someone online (external link).

‍To contact 1800RESPECT via SMS, text ‘HELLO’ or any greeting to 0458 737 732 to start the conversation.

How to find practical help

This section of the website lets you know where to go and what to do when you need help. People who've been hurt by violence will find advice here, but others will find it helpful, too. There is information about legal support, health services, money, sex and relationships and violence and abuse. If you are in a difficult situation and don't know what to do, the strategies here can make a difference.

Find out more

Speaking up for yourself

One way to speak up for yourself is to be assertive. This means directly and politely asking for what you need and want. Being assertive is a valuable skill. It can help you communicate better, reduce stress, and improve your life. Here, you can learn the difference between being assertive and being passive or aggressive. You can learn how to speak up for yourself well.

Find out more

Resources.

May 13, 2024

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Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence

You have rights - Easy Read

A guide for women with disability experiencing family and domestic violence.

Check resource

May 13, 2024

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Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence

Your rights

A guide for women with disability and mothers of children with disability who have experience of family and domestic violence.

Check resource

May 13, 2024

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SECCA

Online dating

Information about online dating.

Check resource

May 4, 2024

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1800 RESPECT

Escape bag checklist

If you are going to leave a relationship, deciding what to take with you is an important step in creating a safety plan. This checklist helps you plan what you may need to take if you need to leave.

Check resource

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Mediation

Mediation helps people or groups who disagree find a solution without going to court. A neutral person called a mediator leads the process. It can help work out childcare arrangements. It can tackle disagreements about money. It can resolve problems at work. Here, you can learn what to expect and where to get help.

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