How to offer support

When you support someone to make a decision, you:

• Help them get the information they need to make the decision. For example, you could share information about sexual harassment or online safety. You could help the person you support look up relevant policies. In the case of sexual harassment, you might find steps that say what you can do. You might find rules that say what is allowed and what is not. You can learn more about this on the Neve page Sexual harassment (internal link). You can learn more about online safety on the Neve page Abuse through technology (internal link).

• Make sure they have information in a way they can understand it. It is important you provide the person with information in a format that works for them. Some people may want information in Easy Read. Others may want information explained to them verbally or in video format. Look for resources with pictures. Read the information together. Talk about what you read. Give examples that make sense to the person you support. Ask them to tell you what they have understood. If you think they have misunderstood, talk more.

• Help them consider the options, including positive and negative outcomes. Together, make a list of "pros" and "cons." Carefully consider each choice. Talk about real things that could happen. Talk about what could go wrong. Talk about what could go well. Share ideas. Be curious about what the person you support wants and doesn't want.

• Support them in making a decision based on their own will and preferences. Accept that the person you support is not the same as you. Sometimes, they will   make choices you agree with. Sometimes, they will make choices you disagree with or disapprove of. It's your job to be supportive. Only intervene if you think the choice is dangerous.

• Help them tell people about their decision. Talk with the person you support about who needs to know. Must they tell a support worker? Their parents? An organisation? Their partner? Someone else? Make a list together. You don't have to do the telling yourself. Practice together so that the person you support feels prepared.

• Help them act on their decision. You could help them file a complaint, read a draft of an email they want to send, or support them as they talk to the police. Whatever choice the person you support makes, taking action is empowering. It is okay if they make a mistake.

‍Getting ready for supported decision making

To prepare for supported decision making, you can:

Build trust. Create a trusting relationship so the person you support feels comfortable talking and sharing with you. You build trust when you are:

• Honest.
• Reliable.
• Willing to say you're wrong.
• Helpful.
• Good at listening.
• Good at remembering what's important to the person you support.

Listen well. Pay close attention to what the person you support says. Show them you value their ideas. If they don't like someone, ask why. 

Ask questions. Encourage the person you support to talk about themselves. Ask questions that need more than a yes or no answer. Try questions like:

• "How did you feel when…?"
• "How would you like to tell me about…?"
• "Could you tell me more about…?"