.png){kind=small}
Sex education gives people the knowledge, skills and values they need to be healthy, have respectful relationships, make good choices and support the rights of others. Yet people with intellectual disabilities may not get any sex education. Here, we offer a general guide to sex education for people with intellectual disabilities.
You can download a PDF copy of this guide here.
Intellectual disabilities are conditions that affect a person's thinking skills and how they act. They include:
Many people with intellectual disabilities do not learn much about sex. As a result, they may:
This guide explains how to teach people with intellectual disabilities about sex. Use it alongside other tools, like the picture-based resources developed by SECCA (external link).
The guide covers helpful attitudes and information on:
It describes what the education should include:
For the rest of the guide, we will use "ID" to mean intellectual disability.
We've also written a guide to teaching people with IDs about consent. It's available here in our guides section (internal link).
Sex education for people with IDs must consider their unique needs, abilities, and circumstances. All sex education should connect people with their sexual rights as humans.
Everyone has the right to make free and informed choices about their own:
These rights are known as sexual and reproductive health rights.
However, people with ID face barriers to achieving sexual rights. Stigma leads many in the community to assume that people with ID are not, or should not be, sexual beings.
Rates of sexual and domestic violence are high among people with ID. They may experience mental health issues as a result.
Sex education can make people with IDs safer when offered in a trauma-informed way.
Traits like race, gender, disability, sexuality, and class shape people's experiences of oppression and privilege. Many people with IDs are treated unfairly and excluded because of all of these factors.
They may face barriers to:
They may also be at increased risk of violence, abuse, and exploitation.
Here is a list of common barriers to sexual health for people with ID.
A lack of privacy. People who live in a group home may not have the privacy to be sexual. Anyone dependent on a carer may face this barrier. For example, privacy could be challenging if a client lives at home with their parents.
Low confidence. Clients with ID may lack confidence because they feel different to others. They may have more stress from bad experiences like microaggressions, which you can read about here (internal link). It can lead to poorer health outcomes and more exclusion. You can learn about the health impacts here (external link).
A history of trauma. From the age of 15, 46% of women with cognitive disability and 50% of women with psychological disability have experienced sexual violence. This is about three times more sexual violence than women without disability face. You can read more from the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with a Disability 2021 (external link).
Smaller social networks. Isolation lowers a person's ability to meet sexual partners and feel connected, seen, valued and heard.
Physical limitations. People with disability may need physical aids or a sex worker to have sex. You can help them manage these issues.
Being treated like children. Some people with ID are seen as non-sexual or incapable of giving consent. There may be a view that they need a partner to act as a carer, or that they can't make their own mistakes like other people can.
Less informal sex talk. Most people learn a lot about sex through casual chats with friends and peers. However, people often avoid talking about sex with people with an ID.
Barriers to do with disability. Some people with ID have issues with impulse control. They may struggle to remember what they've learned. They may have a very trusting nature, making it harder to recognise unhealthy situations. Their knowledge of social norms may be limited. For some people with ID, sex education can help them manage these challenges.
Sex education can empower individuals with intellectual disabilities to:
A person-centred approach is vital. This means that you treat your client as an individual. You prioritise their needs and preferences. Below, we share strategies for a person-centred approach to sex education for people with ID. You can learn more about the person-centred approach in our free online course on Strength based and person centred case management with women, girls, feminine identifying and non-binary people with disabilities (internal link).
Build trust. Before you begin sex education, make a safe space. Get to know your client and let them get to know you. Practise active listening. Ask open questions that aren't intrusive. Tell your client you understand how they feel. Empathise with them. Smile.
Treat your client as an individual. Each person with an ID is unique. They have different levels of understanding, communication abilities, and learning styles. Match the content and delivery of sex education to the needs of each client.
Use clear, simple language that is easy to understand. Avoid jargon and big words. Use visual aids, such as pictures or diagrams, to support learning.
Say it (and do it) again. Repeat key concepts. It helps people learn. Use more than one teaching method. You could role-play, ask questions, draw, look at pictures or play games.
Focus on basic concepts. Teach your client about anatomy, puberty, hygiene, sexual health, consent, and personal boundaries. Break down complex topics into smaller parts.
Empower your client. Teach them about their rights and boundaries. Encourage them to assert themselves. Help them recognise and respond when others behave badly.
Be inclusive and respectful. Make sex education programs inclusive and respectful of diverse identities, including LGBTQIA+ people with intellectual disabilities. Promote acceptance, tolerance, and understanding of different sexualities and gender identities.
If your client wants, involve supporters. Parents and other supporters can help with sex education. Share resources and advice so that they can continue talking at home. You can also answer questions your client's supporters may have.
Teach safety and protection. Help clients learn about personal safety, including seeing and responding to risks, abuse, and exploitation. Share information about people you can trust and ways to seek help.
Talk about consent and relationships. Discuss the importance of consent, healthy relationships, and boundaries in friendships, romantic relationships, and sexual encounters. Emphasise mutual respect, communication, and understanding. Learn how to teach consent to people with IDs in our guides section (internal link).
Get professional training and support. Give educators and support staff the skills and information they need to deliver sex education to people with IDs. Offer ongoing supervision, guidance, and resources to address any challenges or concerns.
Trauma is common among people with ID. Talking about sex can bring up memories of past abuse and trigger a trauma response. Learning about how sex should be can alert someone to the fact that a past experience was abusive.
Trauma-informed care can help you avoid causing further harm. Here, we share the basics.
We use the word "survivors" for people who were abused in the past.
Be safe. Physical and emotional safety are vital for survivors. Create settings that are safe and supportive. Recognise and manage any possible triggers or threats to safety. Get to know your client before talking about sensitive topics.
Seek consent. Ask your client if they want to learn about sex. Do your best to let them have a say in where, when, how and with whom you provide sex education.
Be trustworthy. Build trust by being honest, transparent, and reliable. Clearly explain expectations, boundaries, and information about the services you offer. Respect your client's right to privacy.
Offer peer support. Help survivors connect with peers who have had similar experiences. Peer support can provide validation, understanding, and empowerment.
Give survivors power, voice, and choice. Involve survivors in the design and delivery of services. Ask them what they need, prefer, and want to achieve. Offer choices and options whenever possible.
Collaborate. Help survivors and service providers work together. Recognise survivors as experts on their own experiences and needs. Work together to name strengths, resources, and solutions.
Be sensitive to culture, history and gender. Acknowledge and respect the diverse cultural backgrounds, histories, and identities of survivors. Recognise that unfairness and oppression impact trauma symptoms. Tailor services to be inclusive, responsive, and sensitive to cultural and gender differences.
Learn about trauma. Understand trauma and its effects on individuals and communities. Know that trauma is common. Understand that it can affect a person for many years. Ensure staff and stakeholders know about trauma-informed care.
Celebrate resilience and recovery. Recognise survivors' resilience and strengths. Support survivors in their journey of healing and recovery. You can promote hope, empowerment, and autonomy. Offer a range of therapies and supports based on good evidence.
Learn more about trauma-informed practice in our free online course Trauma-informed advocacy for women, girls, feminine identifying and non-binary people with disabilities (internal link). Everyone in your organisation could do the course. Sexual safety needs a whole-of-community approach to be as effective as possible.
BlueKnot also has a plain English guide for supporting people with disability who have experienced complex trauma (external link).
Sex-positivity is the idea that sex with consent is a natural, healthy, and valuable part of life. The movement says we should not judge. We should recognise and respect diverse sexual identities, orientations, desires, and practices.
This means:
Sex involves touching or looking at private parts for pleasure. Sex can happen alone, with others, online and offline. What we fantasise about doesn't necessarily reflect what we do or want to do.
Ask your client open questions about what they know, and then fill in the blanks. You could ask:
To talk about sex with your client. You need a shared vocabulary, which means you use the same words to mean the same things. If necessary, use pictures to teach them the correct names for:
You could also talk about myths about sex. Common myths include:
Let your client know that people have sex in many different ways. What matters most is that everyone has said yes, feels good, and can stop if they want. Sex should be safe and legal.
Share the fact that most people don't enjoy violence. Usually, people find violence scary and painful. After violent sex, many people will not return for more.
If you get further questions about sex that involves pain, explain that it is an advanced form of sex that requires training to do it safely. You could consider referring your client to a specialist. Be careful not to shame your client. BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) is an acceptable and pleasurable sexual practice when done safely.
If your client has the wrong information, validate and empathise. Say something like, "I understand why you thought that. We get taught the wrong things about sex. We can learn the right things instead." Talk about how sexual media like porn can share wrong information.
A lot of people think sex is for making babies, which can be true, but for most people, sex is about pleasure. Pleasure means feeling good.
There are many reasons people could want sex. They might want to:
Any reason to have sex is OK as long as it's not causing harm to oneself or others. You should always have and give consent before having sex.
Ask your client why they want to have sex. Pay attention if they say they want sex to get external validation, which means approval from other people. They may have low self-esteem, low body image, depression, or other poor mental health indicators. Get help for your client if they use sex in this way.
Place more emphasis on the benefits of sex than the risks. You don't want to frighten your client away from sex.
The number one benefit is pleasure! Sex should be fun. Talking about pleasure with your client can help keep them safe. People who understand that sex should feel good are more likely to notice harmful or toxic behaviour.
Sex can also improve health. During sex, our brains release chemicals that can:
Not all these benefits happen to everyone. There are more benefits when sex:
For some people, getting pregnant is another benefit of sex.
Make sure your client understands that sex also has risks. Choose your wording carefully when you talk about risk. Let your client know that most risks can be managed.
The risks associated with sex include unplanned pregnancy and catching a sexually transmissible infection (STI). Tell your client that an STI can make you feel sore or itchy, or have no symptoms at all. It can make you sick. It can make it hard to get pregnant later.
Another risk of sex is that someone could mistreat you. They might:
Find a way to talk to your client about how communication can affect consent. Let them know that if they don't understand a sex act, it is safer to say no. Encourage them to ask questions of a safe person to help them understand.
Safer sex is a simple conversation.
Explain to your client that most STIs spread through skin-on-skin contact. They can use a condom (male or female) or dental dam to be safer. Show pictures to explain how it works.
There is a right and wrong way to use condoms. Make sure your client follows the instructions. Talk them through the process. Use pictures or props. If they are worried about losing sensation, suggest they use a single drop of lubricant inside the condom.
Tell your client that if a sexual partner doesn't want to talk about safe sex or practice safe sex, they may not be a safe person. Look out for signs like this. Talk about them with your client.
If your client tells you they have sex without protection, be careful not to respond with shame. They can have an STI test. It will be free or cheap. If they have an STI, they should get treatment from a doctor or sexual health nurse. Help them make an appointment if needed.
Ask your client if they know how to avoid pregnancy. Talk about how condoms can help. Explain that a doctor or sexual health nurse can help them explore other ways to prevent getting pregnant. Many women use a long-acting reversible contraceptive (LARC) like an inter-uterine device (IUD).
Some people with IDs have sensory issues with the smell or feel of sex. It can impact the pleasure they experience. Scent-free products, like fragrance-free condoms, are available.
Sexual consent is an agreement between two or more people to do something sexually intimate. In an agreement, all parties' needs are considered and met. Consent is an essential part of satisfying and fulfilling sex and should be part of every sexual interaction.
You can learn how to teach people with IDs about consent in our guides section (internal link). It’s such an important topic, we’ve made a separate guide to cover it.
During sex education, some clients will talk about sexual difficulties they've experienced. It could be problems with pain, orgasm or arousal. It could be a limitation linked to their disability. It can be hard to know what to say.
We recommend the following steps:
These steps use the Ex-PLISSIT model (external link), developed by Jack Annon in 1976.
%20Medium.jpeg)
May 13, 2024
|
Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence
A guide for women with disability experiencing family and domestic violence.
Check resource.jpeg)
May 13, 2024
|
Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence
A guide for women with disability and mothers of children with disability who have experience of family and domestic violence.
Check resource
May 7, 2024
|
Disability Advocacy Network Australia
Tools and information to help you find advocacy services in your state or territory.
Check resource
May 7, 2024
|
Touching Base
Resources and information for people with disability about seeing a sex worker.
Check resource.png)
