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What is it?

Stalking is about unwanted attention, including following someone without their consent. Sometimes, stalking can be hard to recognise. If you have a concern, speak to someone you trust. Stalking is a crime in Australia.

You have the right to be safe. You have the right to privacy about where you go and who you talk to.

Who is affected?

Stalking can impact people from all walks of life. People can be stalked by strangers or people they know. Often, the culprit is someone close. It could be:

  • An ex-romantic partner from a straight or queer relationship
  • A spouse or co-parent
  • An current or ex-support worker
  • Someone you work with
  • A health worker.

The Disability Royal Commission said that women with disability are more likely to be stalked than other Australians. You can read about this on the Disability Royal Commission website (external link).  

Stalking is not the fault of the person being followed, harassed or tracked. If stalking is a problem in your life, remember that you are not to blame for someone else's bad behaviour. Nothing you did or didn't do caused someone to stalk you. Their behaviour is their responsibility. 

How to be safer

Stalking is a crime that affects your sense of safety, control, and peace of mind. To improve your safety:

  • Ignore the stalker. Do not attempt to befriend or speak with someone you suspect is stalking you, especially if they are a stranger. Ignoring them is often the best thing to do.
  • Keep records. Record the behaviour of the person who is stalking you. Save phone call logs, text messages, or other evidence showing what they've done. If you need help doing this, ask a trusted person to assist.
  • Contact police. If the stalking continues or gets worse, do not hesitate to contact the police. The police can give advice and help you stay safe.

What does it look like?

Stalking happens in many different ways. A stalker might:

  • Follow someone secretly. This can include tracking you to work, school, or even when you go out with friends. It can leave you feeling constantly watched and unsafe.
  • Give unwanted notes or gifts. Someone you know or a stranger may leave unwanted notes or gifts at your home or workplace. 
  • Come where you are, even though you did not invite them. For example, if you go out for dinner and a movie with friends, they might go to the same restaurant and cinema.
  • Contact your friends or family members. For example, they might call your best friend and ask questions about you.
  • Invade your personal space. Someone might go into your home uninvited when no one is home. They may do things that ensure you know someone has been there, making you feel unsafe.
  • Follow you online. Someone might use online searches to find information or look on social media for hints about where you are and who you are friends with. This form of tracking can lead to further harassment.
  • Contact you constantly. Someone who is stalking you may use phone calls, texts, and voicemails to scare you. They may send repeated messages. It can be hard to manage.
  • Use tracking devices. Someone who is stalking you might use GPS trackers or phone and social media data to know where you are at all times. 

What to do after stalking or harassment

The first thing to do is to make sure you are safe. Look after your body and your emotions. Sometimes, stalking and harassment can lead to physical violence. If you are in danger, go somewhere safe. Seek medical attention if you need it.

Then, take a deep breath. We're sorry you've had to deal with this. We hope the situation gets better. We know that it can be confusing, intimidating, and stressful. People may try to make you believe it is your fault.

Remember that you are never to blame for bad behaviour. What happened to you is not your fault.

Here is a list of things you could do if you’ve faced stalking or harassment. You should choose the options that are right for you.

  • Call 000 if you or anyone else is in immediate danger. If this makes you feel nervous or unsure, you can learn more about the process on the Neve page A guide to calling triple zero (000) (internal link)
  • Keep records of the bad behaviour. If it is safe, save phone call logs, text messages, photos or other evidence. If you need help doing this, ask a trusted person to help you. If you decide to go to the police later, you will have evidence to show them.
  • Get legal help. You can use legal support to be safer, like restraining orders and protective orders. You can also get advice about whether something that happened to you is a crime. Learn about legal support options on the Neve page Accessing legal support and the courts  (internal link).
  • Report the abuse to authorities. Report online harm to the eSafety Commissioner here (external link). You could also call your local police or speak to a government organisation like an Ombudsman or the Human Rights Commission.
  • Seek support from friends and family members. Tell the person you confide in what would and would not be helpful for you. For example, you might just want to talk. Or, you might want practical help. Let them know not to confront the person who has hurt you. It can make the abuse worse. They should focus on you and what you need to be safer and feel supported.
  • Leave the situation. This can be a very positive step if you live with the person stalking you. However, it is important to think things through and prepare. Learn how to safely leave a violent or abusive situation on the Neve page How to be safe when leaving an abusive relationship (internal link).
  • Stay and plan how to cope with the violence or abuse. You may not be ready to leave the situation. In that case, think about how you can be safer while you stay. Learn about safety planning in the Neve section on Becoming safer (internal link). People who have been abusive sometimes stop. However, it can also get worse over time. Abuse does not stop unless the person admits the harm they have done, wants to change their behaviour and takes action to change it. Change is unlikely if they keep blaming you or make excuses for themselves. Even if someone wants to change, it may take a long time.
  • Develop more financial independence. This can help you leave when you are ready. You can learn about managing your money on the Neve page Help managing your money (internal link).
  • Call a helpline. Australia has many helplines that offer practical advice and support for people experiencing violence or abuse. You can find a list of numbers and resources on the Neve page Helpline directory (internal link).
  • Speak to a counsellor. If you have difficulties you can't manage alone, see a counsellor, therapist or psychologist. Learn about the different options on the Neve page Counselling and therapy (internal link).
  • Know your rights. Everyone has the right to live free from violence and abuse. Learn about your rights in the Neve section Our rights (internal link).
  • Look after yourself. Caring for yourself is important if you have experienced violence or abuse. You can learn how to be calm and more empowered on the Neve page Caring for yourself (internal link).
  • Talk to your service coordinator. This can help if the person who stalks or harasses you provides a service related to your disability, like physiotherapy, gardening, cleaning or anything else in your NDIS plan. Tell the service coordinator what happened, and what you’d like to happen next, including if you want your complaint to remain confidential. You might want to offer feedback about the inappropriate behaviour but still work with the person. Or, you might want a new person to provide the service for you.
  • Make a complaint to the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. If the person who stalks or harasses you is an NDIS provider, you can complain to the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. Learn more on the NDIS Commission website (external link).

Having a disability can make it harder to escape violence and abuse. Limited mobility or social isolation might make it harder to get help. Moving out or getting away from the person who hurts you can seem impossible when money is in short supply. However, help is available.

Even if the person who hurt you is important to you, you can still get help. Many people are hurt by someone they know. It may be an intimate partner, a parent or carer, or someone else in authority, such as a health worker or service provider. You don't have to go to the police if you don't want to. Either way, support is available to keep you safe and help you recover.

1800 RESPECT

If you experience violence or abuse you can contact 1800 RESPECT for support and counselling.
Call 1800 737 732 or go to the 1800 RESPECT website to chat with someone online (external link).

‍To contact 1800RESPECT via SMS, text ‘HELLO’ or any greeting to 0458 737 732 to start the conversation.

Story

Skylar works with someone who asks many questions about her life, including her disability and her mobility aid. Skylar's colleague asks if she's single and lives alone and how she gets home from work. The colleague also starts leaving notes on Skylar's desk. Skylar feels uncomfortable. Her colleague brings up what Skylar has done after work, like meeting a friend for coffee. It happens even when Skylar knows she hasn't told anyone about what she did. One afternoon, Skylar notices her colleague following her after work. This is stalking.

How to find practical help

This section of the website lets you know where to go and what to do when you need help. People who've been hurt by violence will find advice here, but others will find it helpful, too. There is information about legal support, health services, money, sex and relationships and violence and abuse. If you are in a difficult situation and don't know what to do, the strategies here can make a difference.

Find out more

Getting help to be safe from violence and abuse

You might need somewhere safe to stay or money to change the locks on your house. Perhaps you want to talk to a kind and caring person. Whatever you need, support is available when you've experienced violence or abuse. Some services focus on helping people with disability. Here, we share resources to help you build a safer, healthier life.

Find out more

Resources.

May 13, 2024

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Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence

You have rights - Easy Read

A guide for women with disability experiencing family and domestic violence.

Check resource

May 13, 2024

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Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence

Your rights

A guide for women with disability and mothers of children with disability who have experience of family and domestic violence.

Check resource

May 13, 2024

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SECCA

Online dating

Information about online dating.

Check resource

May 4, 2024

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1800 RESPECT

Escape bag checklist

If you are going to leave a relationship, deciding what to take with you is an important step in creating a safety plan. This checklist helps you plan what you may need to take if you need to leave.

Check resource

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Stalking and harassment

Stalking means following, watching or tracking a person or the places where that person often goes, like home, work or social spaces. Stalking is a common and alarming problem. It causes fear and distress to people in our community. Here, we share ideas to help you stay safe.

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