The supporters of people with disabilities usually know the person they support very well. Even so, it can be hard to recognise if someone is experiencing violence. It can be hard to know where to turn and what to do. This page has information to help you identify the signs of violence.
Women with disabilities are twice as likely to experience violence as other women. Yet many do not speak about what has happened to them. This silence happens for different reasons.
Some might not know anything is wrong. People with disabilities that affect thinking may not recognise abuse, especially if it does not involve physical violence. Others might have been hurt so often they think it is normal. Others could be in denial.
Some people who experience violence want to keep it a secret. They may be embarrassed. They may be afraid of the consequences of speaking out, like more violence. They might think that no one will believe them.
Some people have a hard time talking. People with communication support needs can struggle to talk about violence. Even someone who usually communicates easily might find it hard to talk about violence.
People with disabilities may rely on the person who is being violent towards them. Family members can act violently. Intimate partners can act violently. Support workers can act violently. Carers can act violently. When someone relies on a person who is being violent to them, speaking out is difficult and scary.
Supporters of people with disabilities may also worry about what will happen if they raise concerns about violent behaviour. For example, if one family member knows or suspects that another family member is being violent towards someone in their care, it can be tough to know what to do.
Some people with disabilities may not know how to seek help or have the confidence to ask for what they need. Its important that friends, carers and family members learn to recognise the signs of violence.
Trust your instincts. As the supporter of a person with disabilities, you likely know them very well. Don't ignore your worries or concerns. By asking questions and taking action you can make a positive difference.
Violence can be physical, like hitting and kicking or sexual abuse, but it can also be emotional, financial and cultural.
You can learn more about sexual violence and abuse in the Neve section Sexual violence and abuse (internal link).
You can learn about other types of violence and abuse in the Neve section Violence and abuse (internal link).
Violence also includes neglect, which is when a person does not receive the care and support they need. For example, a person with a disability might not be clean. They might not have enough food to eat. These are forms of violence.
Signs that someone is experiencing violence or abuse include:
There are many things you can do to help improve the safety of the person you support. Here is a list of suggestions. You should choose options that are right for you and the person you want to help.
Call 000 if you or anyone else is in immediate danger. If this makes you feel nervous or unsure, you can learn more about the process on the Neve page A guide to calling triple zero (000) (internal link).
Don't confront the violent person. It can make the situation worse. Instead, help and support the person they have hurt.
Find a safe time and place to ask the person who has been harmed about their experiences. Be calm. Don't judge. Remember, it is your job to offer support, not take over. You can learn how to have conversations about violence on the Neve page How to talk about violence (internal link).
Support their choices. Ask the person experiencing violence what they would like to happen next. Offer to help them find information and learn about their options. You can learn how to:
Get help deciding what to do. The National Disability Abuse and Neglect Hotline works with callers to find appropriate ways to deal with reports of abuse and neglect of people with disabilities. To make a report, contact the Hotline on 1800 880 052 or email hotline@workfocus.com. If you do this, you should tell the person you support.
Encourage the person you support to seek help. They could talk to:
Help the person you support plan to be safe. A safety plan can help manage the risks of leaving a violent situation or relationship. Learn more on the Neve page How to be safe when you leave an abusive relationship (internal link).
Even if the person you support is not ready to leave, they can still plan to be safer. Learn more on the Neve page When you are not ready to leave a relationship (internal link).
Keep records of the bad behaviour. If it is safe, help the person you support save phone call logs, text messages, photos or other evidence. If they decide to go to the police later, they will have evidence to show them.
Help them plan how to manage their disability. If the person you support has been hurt by someone who helps them with the tasks of daily life, they may need to plan to have their care needs met outside that relationship. It can be very challenging. If you feel comfortable, let them know that you will help them think of solutions if they want. Help them plan what they could do if they need urgent support.
Help them gain financial independence. This can help them leave a violent situation when they are ready. Find positive steps to share with the person you support on the Neve page Help managing your money (internal link).
Give them information on their right to live free from violence. You can read more about the rights of people with disabilities on the Neve page Disability and discrimination (internal link).
Encourage them to look after themselves. Self-care helps us cope when times are tough. You can read more about self-care and looking after yourself on the Neve page Caring for yourself (internal link).
Help them learn about their legal options. If the person you support is interested, you could help them research legal tools such as restraining and protective orders. You can learn more about legal support in the Neve section Understanding the justice system (internal link).
Report the problem to authorities. You could call your local police. You could speak to a government organisation, like an Ombudsman or the Australian Human Rights Commission. If you report the problem, tell the person you support.
Call a helpline. Australia has many helplines that offer practical advice and support services for people experiencing violence or abuse. You can find a list of numbers and resources on the Neve page Helpline directory (internal link).
Talk to a service coordinator. This can be helpful if the person who has used violence provides a service for the person you support. It could be physiotherapy, gardening, cleaning or anything else in their NDIS plan. Help the person you support tell the service coordinator what happened and what they'd like to happen next, including whether they want their complaint to remain confidential.
Make a complaint to the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. If the person you support has been harmed by an NDIS provider, you can complain to the NDIS Quality and Safeguards Commission. Learn more on the NDIS Commission website (external link).
Seek support for yourself. Hearing about violence is challenging. Talk to someone you trust. Tell the person you confide in what would and would not be helpful for you. For example, you might just want to talk. Or, you might want practical help. They should focus on you and what you need to be safer and feel supported.
Speak to a counsellor. If you have difficulties you can't manage alone, see a counsellor, therapist or psychologist. Learn about the different options on the Neve page Counselling and therapy (internal link).
Many women and gender-diverse people experience violence and abuse. Violence can be physical, emotional or financial. It can make you feel isolated, ashamed and confused. You are not alone. Like everyone, you deserve to feel safe. In this section of Neve, we explain different types of violence and abuse. You can get a clear idea of how violence may impact you. You can find support. You can plan for a safer future.
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